Information about Abortion
Many complicated thoughts and emotions can arise after having an abortion. Being able to name and articulate what one is experiencing can be helpful to start the healing process. We have compiled a glossary below to bring more understanding.
Post-Abortion Grief
Women experiencing post-abortion grief are typically unable to work through their emotional responses to abortion. The most common effects of abortion grief may include depression, anxiety, substance abuse, low self-esteem, emotional numbing and re-living the abortion through dreams or flashbacks.
Grief can occur within a few hours following an abortion, or may not surface until many years later. Women may be afraid to talk about it, may feel shame about their abortion, and may not even realize how it is affecting them. Many women are even afraid to talk to their doctor or counsellor. Some women state that they are “okay” or that “it was the best decision they could have made for that time in their life”; but sometimes life experiences can “trigger” latent feelings.
Click here to review the checklist of after-abortion side effects.
If you answered “yes” to three or more of the questions in the checklist above, or if you felt angry, upset or had an emotional or physical response to any of them, you may be suffering from Post-Abortion Grief.
Post-Abortion Stress
Post-abortion stress is the chronic inability to process the emotions and losses attached to an abortion experience.
This leads to an inability to healthily grieve and move forward in their lives.
This is an extremely complicated grief that requires support and engagement with those who can break down feelings of isolation. Definition adapted from Teri K. Reisser, MS, M.F.T.
Moral Injury
Moral injury is a term proposed to describe the distress that individuals feel when they perpetrate, witness or fail to prevent an act that transgresses their core ethical beliefs. (Source) Litz believed that moral injury occurs when an individual is involved in ‘…perpetuating, failing to prevent or bearing witness to acts that transgress deeply held moral beliefs and expectations.’ (Litz et al. 2009)
Moral injury originates (1) at an individual level when a person perpetuates, fails to prevent or bears witness to a serious act that transgresses deeply held moral beliefs and expectations which leads to inner conflict because the experience is at odds with their personal core ethical and moral beliefs, and/or (2) at an organizational level when serious acts of transgression have been caused by or resulted in a betrayal of what is culturally held to be morally right in a ‘high-stakes’ situation by those who hold legitimate authority. (Source)
Moral injury refers to an injury to an individual’s moral conscience resulting from an act of moral transgression which produces emotional shame. The concept of moral injury emphasizes the psychological, cultural, and spiritual aspects of trauma. (Source)
How does moral injury apply to post-abortion stress?
Many times, it’s about our client violating her own moral code, about trying to reconcile her action or decision to her deeply held moral beliefs and expectations. This incongruity can have devasting effects. We are here to listen and try to assist her in understanding that her injury is valid.
Disenfranchised Grief
Source: Grief is a Journey Finding Your Path Through Loss, Dr. Kenneth J. Doka, 2016, Atria Books.
“Disenfranchised losses are not openly acknowledged, socially sanctioned or publicly shared. They create a paradox. We experience loss, but we've come to believe we do not have the right to grieve that loss. The very nature of these losses can complicate grief, but the usual sources of support are lacking. Persons with disenfranchised grief frequently suffer in silence, not knowing the true cause of their reactions, having no context in which to understand them, and receiving little support or recognition. It is critical to recognize your grief, even if it is disenfranchised, for only by acknowledging your own grief can you better cope with life's losses and even grow from them.” p. 183
“So, we can disenfranchise ourselves - believing the grief we are experiencing is inappropriate, repressing our grief or converting it to feelings of guilt or shame.” p. 189
“Some women who choose to have an abortion experience grief. Others do not. A number of factors are associated with the risk of an intense reaction, including having multiple abortions; having a first abortion; ambivalence about abortion; feeling constrained by age, circumstances, or finances; or seeing the pregnancy as a failed solution to a problem (e.g., he will marry me if I have his child).” p. 191
The Eleven Tenets of Companioning
Companioning is about being present to another person’s pain; it is not about taking away the pain.
Companioning is about going to the wilderness of the soul with another human being; it is not about thinking you are responsible for finding the way out.
Companioning is about honouring the spirit; it is not about focusing on the intellect.
Companioning is about listening with the heart; it is not about analyzing with the head.
Companioning is about bearing witness to the struggles of others; it is not about judging or directing these struggles.
Companioning is about walking alongside; it is not about leading or being led.
Companioning means discovering the gifts of sacred silence; it does not mean filling up every moment with words.
Companioning is about being still; it is not about frantic movement forward.
Companioning is about respecting disorder and confusion; it is not about imposing order and logic.
Companioning is about learning from others; it is not about teaching them.
Companioning is about curiosity; it is not about expertise.
*Companioning the Bereaved: A Soulful Guide for Caregivers; by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. 2006
